I could be
by Jolliapplegirl
Summary: After the episode Seahorse Seashell party, Meg sees her family for what it truly is and accepts her role. But she is not going to remain there. She will move forward.


As the sound of her family's shouts faded, Meg stood in the aftermath of her confession, unsure. She sat down on the couch, ignoring what little she could make out of her family's insults toward each other. Was this all the Griffin family was? A bunch a people who hate each other and will tear each other apart as soon as they realize their faults? She had thought... Meg had no idea what she thought would happen. She just... she just couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey." Brian said, walking over and sitting beside her. "What's going on?" He asked, probably knowing he wasn't going to get an answer. After a moment, he continued. "You know, that was... it was kind of cool how you finally stood up to everyone."

"I don't know, Brian." She sighed, turning to him beseechingly. "I mean, I meant every word of it but... You saw what happened." She stated sadly.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his expression not changing.

"They all turned on each other like a pack of wolves!" She exclaimed.

"Well, so what?" He retorted, shrugging. "That's not your problem."

"True but..." She began before stopping. Why did she care? Sure, they were her family but they had never treated as such. She was the literal butt of all their jokes. They insulted her, mistreated her, neglected her and yet, even now,she longed for their approval and love. But maybe she shouldn't try anymore. The Griffin family was dysfunctional and self destructive. One day, they would drag themselves into hell and find no way to wiggle out of it. But maybe she didn't have to as well.

"Meg?" Brian said, looking her over. Brian was the same. He had been kind to her but he was just as flawed. His own ego and selfishness would drag her down too. So she lied.

"Do you think its possible... that this family can't survive without some kind of lightening rod to absorb all the dysfunction?" She asked, putting on her best sad face. She had years to hone this skill.

"Well, that's um... That's a theory I guess." He muttered, sounding unsure. She was glad he at least saw how stupid the statement. But she had to continue.

"I mean, its not ideal," She explained, the acceptance that she had come to becoming more genuine as she continued. "buts its an important role. Maybe it's my lot in life to provide. Maybe if I feel bad, they don't have to.

"Wow!" Brian breathed, looking at her as if she had said some profound thing rather than just agree to remain a punching bag. Like that was a good thing. "You know, that's very noble and mature of you, Meg." He said, pissing her off further, though she hid it well. Again, years of practice. "You know, I think you might be the strongest person in this house."

This surprised her, because despite the context, it was a legitimate complement. One that actually made her feel good about herself. "Do you really mean that, Brian?" She asked, wanting so badly for it to be true. To have someone in this house see her as someone worthwhile, even if it was for such a stupid reason.

"Absolutely" He replied with a smile. She smiled back, confident in herself and in her decision. Perhaps her choice would hurt her, but like Brian said, she was strong. She had always been strong. So when she went upstairs to throw herself under the bus, the jabs that were hurled at her afterward only hurt half as much. Because she finally realize that the Griffins were a family in name only. She would be their Lightening rod. But only for so long.

After that day, not much changed. She was treated like shit, made fun of and mocked but everyone. But now, she had a goal. She had drive. She worked hard, part time job to even charging those who took advantage of her body, basically blackmailing all those who wanted her 'ugly' self. She studied hard, out of sight of her family so they wouldn't distract her from her goal. The fact that none of them noticed how frequently she remained away from them strengthened her resolve, making her chose more and more beneficial life choices.

It wasn't easy. Even as she got good grades in class and saved up hundreds of dollars, the years of mistreatment still weighed on her, making her question her worth. She couldn't yet afford to spend money on a therapist, and the one in school was already on her blackmailing list so she was out of options. That is, until she found Poly, a stuff panda bear in a store window. It was old, missing an eye and cheap, so she bought it. After hiding him in her closet, every night while all the other Griffin's slept, she would sneak out of bed and hold him to her chest as she cried into his chest and confessed her woes. It wasn't therapy, but she always imagined he was comforting her.

All this and more made Meg Griffin into a different woman. While she remained the butt of everyone's jokes, she herself grew somewhat confident and capable, hiding herself from everyone. The nightmare ended on the day of her 18th birthday.

For on the morning of Meg Griffin's 18th birthday, when her father snuck down the hall to wake her up with a fart to the face, one of the few times he remembered her birthday, he was met with a surprise.

Meg was gone.

All of her stuff had been packed up, her room empty and not even a note remained. The Griffins, at first were concerned, wondering where their daughter had gone, but as usual, they forgot about her. She had never really factored into their lives all that much anyway so her being gone was soon forgotten.

But Meg hadn't. She had left home and by the time her family had noticed her gone, she was in a taxi halfway through Quahog.

"So where to, lady?" The bearded driver asked, looking back at the young girl who held a beat up old Panda bear to her chest. "You didn't say before." Meg stared out the window, watching the familiar shapes of her home town past her by. She wasn't coming back. So she let herself wave them goodbye. "Well?"

"The nearest airport please." She asked, hugging Poly tighter. "Take me far away from here."


End file.
